With having this baby, several women in my church have offered to bring us over dinner so I didn't have to cook. While this seems like a nice thought, I've learned quite a bit from it. In the future, when other women in our church, neighborhood or social circle have a baby, I'm going to head up the group who is bringing dinners over. I'm going to oversee all the volunteers and help them understand from what I've learned, what their role is. Here's what I've learned. I hope this can help someone in the future who may be taking a new mom dinner.
1. Find out if the family has any allergies or food aversions. If the family is vegetarian and you bring over Chicken Cattitore, it's just going to get thrown away and family is now going to have to frantically find something for dinner once you've left. If there are peanut allergies and you bring over peanut butter brownies, when you leave, all hell is going to break loose in the household and a trip to the ER may be needed. This is NOT helping this new mom or this family and is causing more stress.
2. Find out what time the family normally eats and do your best to have dinner there by that time. When the family has young kids and they are used to eating at 5:30 and you call at 6 and say you will be there around 7, only to then call at 7 and sa you are just leaving and it will be 30 minutes, this is NOT helpful to the mom who has to try to come up with snacks to keep the kids from getting cranky, but small enough to not ruin their appetite. Hungry kids make for a ROUGH night.
3. If you don't have time to make a meal because you are working later than the family eats, DO NOT VOLUNTEER.
4. Ask the family is something like Boston Market or KFC is good if you want to volunteer but know you are limited on time. Many families appreciate this type of mood just as much as something home cooked. As long as mom doesn't have to cook, just about any of it is appreciated!
5. Try your hardest to bring a complete meal. If you know that you are bringing something like enchiladas, make sure to bring the sour cream and fixings that the family may not have. Don't count of a new mom to have a fully stocked fridge. Also, try to make the meal as full as possible. Bread, side dish and a salad are great additions to a lasagna. A dessert of some sort is a nice addition as well.
6. Once you are at the families house, go to the kitchen and help prepare the meal. If it isn't prepared yet, preheat the oven so you can put it in. While it is preheating is a decent time to visit with mom and the new baby. If the meal is prepared already, ask mom if you can help set the table or get the kids fed.
7. Do NOT overstay your welcome. Most of the time, 10-15 minutes is all you need to stay to visit. Do not plan on eating with the family or staying for an hour and holding the new baby. Be courteous of the families time, especially in the early days or on the first days where dad has gone back to work and may want to come home and spend time with his new baby.
8. If you DO have a desire to stay a bit longer, ask the mom if there is anything you can do before you leave. Offer to help with vacuuming, throw in some laundry, etc. If you are a close family friend or relative, you can even offer to help bathe the kids. This can be much appreciated by a frazzled new mom. If the answer is a no and that she has it all under control, then take that as a sign to leave the house and let the family enjoy their meal.
9. Make sure all your pans and bowls are labeled if you didn't buy the cheap pans from the store just for this occassion.
10. And ALWAYS knock. Even if you are a close family friend, make sure to knock and then WAIT for someone to open the door. A new mom doesn't necessarily like that her door is revolving and wants a bit of privacy.
There is another blog that goes well with this one and is a MUST READ for all non-pregnant people. Take Notice #9 & 10 Journey to Homebirth: Dear Non-Pregnant Person
